Monday, September 26, 2005
i'm baackk..! like i said, i'll try to update more often... this is for the sake of a certain sombody who shan't be mentioned.. ahahaha.. i'm doing this for you girl! you better be grateful! hee.. kidding.. anyway, my Godpa came to the church today to preach... i was kind of surprised.. i haven't seen him in such a long while! it was great! the topic was we are freed to honour God with our body, something like that- i think. Godpa is a fun preacher, one of those who makes jokes but knows when to be serious, and his sermons are straight to the point. basically, what i learnt was that while we are freed from sin, we are slaves to God. therefore, let us do what is right for God.^^
then we had games for the youth! it was great fun, and best of all.. i wasn't that wet! wahahhahaha! it was exhausting though.. and my skin tore from preparing all those water balloons.. hn.. i need to cut my nails, that's what. now all ineed is feedback on the games. the water game was definitely the most fun. in fact, it was all jia en cared about, from what i gather. dot...
another thing, Gisella joined us for church today! Praise the Lord! an even better thing is, she intends to come back(after exams)! hallelujah! it's great, really, i didn't think that she would come back after that first time, but she did! she even went to the counselling center on friday to help re-organise things, how sweet is that? thanks Gisella!
i have to go now, serves me right for blogging so late at night.. before i leave though, i have one prayer request. i'm required to learn all the slow songs for the 30th October worship service by next sunday..! there are about four songs in all i think, but i've only mastered one so far! help! so yeah, pray for me. that should be about all.. so g'night!
EDIT: i mastered the songs! alright! hahaha.. thank God..! i'm so happy.. now all i need is for Daphne to listen to them. wheee! ahahaha.. man.. i'm starting to not sound like me! this is not good! i must be myself! XDXDXD..
Tuesday, September 13, 2005
hullo! i'm back again! finanlly eh?? sorry, but i got a tad lazy at blogging. which is bad thing since i intend to use this blog to share about my life as a true christian, a disciple of christ. that means i have to fill up this blog as much as i can! well, i plan to update once a week on sundays. if not sunday, then monday. that's my plan anyway, we'll see how this goes.
now, where shall i start? how about a piece of news... i'm now the keyboardist in the youth worship band! i have no idea how to take this actually, never did from the moment i was asked. in fact, when linnie asked me to join, i had a nightmare that night. for some reason, in my dream, i found myself in the main hall just before service. and guess what..?! i was behind the keyboard!!! then i saw aunty yee peng (why it was her and not daph and linn -the youth band's worship leaders- i don't know) turning and looked at me and said, "relax sarah, no worries! you'll be fine..!" the only thought then was, 'oh crap! oh crap! oh crap!'
you see, the thing is, i may be a grade 5 piano student, but all i can play is notes not chords. crap. the dream sarah immediately started figuring out the chords to play. (which wasn't too bad come to think of it) dream sarah was just getting the jist of playing when the time came for the main service! i woke up straight after that. so i'm quite stressed about learning how to play chords in a month. nevertheless, i have faith, in God and in myself. i can do it!! 'i think i can, i think i can, i know i can!'
other updates would be about the prayer meetings in the school. as i have mentioned before, the girls are quite fearful about getting found out, so we having praying about that. then came today, xinni shared a vision she saw from God when she was asking him about getting caught for having the prayer meeting. God let her see that Jesus was up there in the clouds watching over us as we prayed during our prayer meetings..! That is so wonderful. He also showed her a scripture, 1 Timothy 4:12 - "Do not let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity." I read that verse yesterday, and even wanted to memorise it to share with others. XD God is awesome indeed.
and i finanlly am inspired to illustrate the devotional for Jane Mackie! i was getting worried and wondered if i was ever going to be able to draw for the devotional. it was yesterday late at night, when i couldn't sleep. i decided to chat with God, and he gave me the inspiration. praise him!
oh yeah, and God wants me to ask Joel Kuan to come back to poiema, i think it was because of this conversation (i'm gonna highlight the bitswhich i think is why God is telling me to ask him to come back to poiema):
me>> just wondering, do you think you will ever come back to poiema?
him>> hah
him>> do i think i will ever come back ah
him>> hmm
me>> i guess that's a maybe.... ?
him>> i nvr thought abt it before
me>> well, if i ever need help with the youth, be prepared, i'll be on my knees begging you...literally
him>> hah
him>> i wont let tt happen la
him>> i think God will literally push me inside
him>> to help u guys out
me>> ah, that will be my cue see
me>> that may be the moment i beg you
him>> hah
me>> ah well, i'm praying you'll come back.. you seem like the person who can break the ice
me>> i'm terrible at it...
(and the conversation goes on.....)
just so you know, before that, we were talking about the guys and girls in poiema... about them mixing around with each other... okie, time to talk about the highlighted bits. it starts with me saying 'my knees begging you', no, i am not going to beg him. God wants me to ask him face to face however, huh. the thing is, i said i will (in a way) ask him to come back to poiema. also, even though that is supposed to be when i'm desperate for help, God wants me to ask him now. then he goes on to say, 'wont let tt happen la...God will literally push me inside' then i just had to reply, 'that will be my cue see... the moment i beg you'. the fact that i said my cue when God literally pushes him inside is probably why he's asking me to do it. then i went on to say that he 'seem like the person who can break the ice'. which might be why God is asking him back now, maybe God wants him to break the ice between the guys and the girls and not me.
i'm guessing of course, why God wants me to ask joel kuan to come back. but i know it's from God because after the conversation i got on with life with no intention of asking joel to come back (i was praying for him to come back, but was expecting someone else to ask him or something..). then came sunday, linn was debating for a while how to split the group, i suggested small groups of guys and girls, she said'maybe another time.' then came that sudden thought, 'ask joel to come back.' i ignored it. then came the moment where we were going for lunch and the guys and girls went together (at the ratio 1:2, 4 guys, 8 girls). i thought back to thursday when we were chatting and was hoping to get the guys and girls to sit in a nice big group, but we couldn't. so the guys sat on one side and the girls, another. seperated again. then came that sudden thought, 'ask joel to come back.' i ignored it. then came at night when i was talking to God, we reached the topic of poiema (very briefly though) and the thought came, 'ask joel to come back.' i thought it was just me, and pushed the thought away.
then came today (monday), when charmaine and i were talking about poiema after school. the thought, 'ask joel to come back.' was running through my head during the whole conversation. what's more, very 'coincedentily' we had to talk about joel! gah! we talked about the fact he wasn't in poiema anymore and without his.. presence and noisiness.. it can be kinda dull... something like that. i was feeling pressure and the thought kept running through my head. i finanlly acknowledged it and the pressure lifted slightly. (God knows i don't like pressure. i stress out and tend to force myself to quickly complete the task.. which is probably why the pressure remains..to ensure i'll ask him) definitely has to be God. honestly, he could have used a more straightforward method. oh wait, it was straightforward... sort of.. so i'm asking joel kuan to come back, face to face. oh boy... i've yet to hold an actual proper face to face conversation with that guy!!
i also experienced my first cell group sharing. it wasn't too bad. the only thing is, the reason why the cells are split in such a way that it's girls with girls and guys with guys, is so that we can be more comfortable with sharing. yet, the girls were rather reluctant to share. otherwise, it was pretty okay.
another reason why i've mentioned this cell sharing is, the girls commented (during the sharing) that i speak like my mum, or was it look like her? anyway, then when we were out for lunch, they said i behaved like her! it's depressing, especially since a lot of people, and i do mean a lot, say i look, act, speak like her! i mean, i wouldn't mind it if people just said i merely look or speak or act like her. that's just one area. but to hear that i look and speak and act like her... it's just very depressing. i might as well be her CLONE! do i not have my own personality?! am i not unique enough?! i'm just glad God knows and difference, and me (of course i would know the difference, and there a huge difference by the way!). i begin to wonder who people see in me -myself? or my mum?
i'm rather depressed now, so i'll stop. sigh.... i'll most likely be back next week, turrah.
